Saturday, July 16, 2016

Who Do you Voo Doo?

So the trek into Darkest Africa continues as Tarzan "flees" the limp wrist of the Foreign Office.  However in his trek into the deeper and darkest parts he finds the moist part of an unpleasant evil cult of dark magicians.  Enlisting the ever enthusiastic services of Lord Wishart he heads off to thwart the dark machinations of evil.  But where is that nefarious Lady Shtop-Pitt?

The Swamp of Ja'Dar and the ominous standing stones that will summon the dreaded Obba'hah'ma. 
A Story...

Garfield kicked a loose stone along the game trail watching it kick up tiny puffs of dust as it hit the dirt. Damn that Ackers was always too keen to accept the plights of others before considering the needs of others.  Didn't he realise it almost summer back home and the cricket season was about to start.  The Australians were coming over to England and he was looking forward to a dashed good test match series.  The last time he had seen them play it was four drawn matches, with England finally getting the one win for the series on home soil*.  England had then won the next series when they played the following year in Australia, but Ackers had dragged him off to Timbuktu at the time searching for the Golden Frog.  This time he hoped things would be decided quickly and allow him to head home for a quiet sleep on a deck chair while watching the cricket.

"Garfield old boy! I think those might be these perilous stones Tarzan spoke about."

Lord Ackerley Wishart as per his wont was diligently sipping daintily from his best china tea cup while avoiding every peril nature threw in his path.  Moisture beading from his luxuriant moustache, though whether that was from the perspiration or from the tea one could not be sure.  His eyes, bright and filled with adventure took in the surroundings, analysing the situation and determining that there was clearly nothing there that would worry an Englishman.

The worrisome glowing stones of evil nature clearly did not register as something to be bothered about.  The fact that they had been placed in a mystical alignment, had been smeared with blood and body parts, also failed to raise any red flags with Lord Wishart.  To him it was just another part of the African jungle, another example of the brutal existence and native savagery.  Nothing to be worried about.  

"Right lads!  Tarzan wants us to scatter this lot of mumbo jumbos and send them packing.  Take away their je-jaws, I'm sure the British Museum will pay us a tidy sum to display them, certainly pay expense for the trip.  Afterwards, Jabari can wash those stones down with bleach, and all will be good!  Lets at them."

Jabari looked aghast at the sight of the massive standing stones and the one small bottle of bleach he brought with him.  Clearly it was not going to be his day...

*1926: 26th Series, Held in England, Started 12th June 1926, 5 Test Matches, 4 Draws, 1 Win for England, Series win for England, Ashes Retained by England.

Major Plot

Onyekachi (God is the Greatest)
"Kill the pale ones!" - Sacred snake totem
Onyekachi (God is the Greatest)
Onyekachi is the brains of this cable of this darkest and blackest of magicians hell bent on raising a long lost deity from the murky depths of the dismal swamp of Ja'dar.  Having found and stolen the sacred snake from the Miskatonic Museum in Arkham under the disguise of visiting Professor Oren Kach.  With the aid of the other four magicians he will raise dread Obba'hah'ma, deity of division and impotency.  With it's aid he will bring mighty empires to ruin and allow anarchy to reign supreme.

Objective: Destroy the sacred snake totem.

Minor Plot

Wekesa (Harvest Child)

"Pick their bones clean!" - Ivory thigh bone
Wekesa (Harvest Child)
A crotchety old man rumoured to be Onyekachi's father.  The skull upon his staff is that of his father and it whispers to him the spells and secrets that will allow him to master the many mysteries of the mysterious.  Either that or he's been inhaling too many powders blown his way from Raziya's enchanting "kiss".  Nevertheless Wekessa is a devious old man more than capable of dealing with the demons that inhabit the planes of the other worlds.

Objective: Destroy the ivory thigh bone.

Raziya (Nice, pleasant)
"Give us a kiss handsome." - Magical dust
Raziya (Nice, pleasant)
Every dark cult has it's raunchy side and this is the side that should be well and truly hidden!  Raziya is as old as Wekesa and she is his first of eight wives.  She rules the harem and tribe with an iron pot, anyone who objects - goes into the pot, solving any problems as well as any hunger issues.  She is the mistress of potions and mystical powders; she is also the randiest woman in the tribe, with those who reject her advances either submitting to her magical kiss or ending up in the pot.

Objective: Destroy the magical dust.

Tuma (Everlasting-Forever)
"Behold the crystal skull!" - Crystal skull
Tuma (Everlasting-Forever)
Born an extremely ugly child Tuma has been forced to hide his face since birth by wear the Mask of Bah'Na'Na.  The tribe did not know at the time that this was a cursed and deadly mask and that it granted the wearer great powers.  Tuma was through the power of the Mask able to recover one of the Crystal Skulls necessary in raising dread Obba'hah'ma.

Objective: Destroy the Crystal Skull

"Rise and worship me!" - Magical mask
Masego (Divine Favour)
Charismatic and deadly.  If there was a dark magician voted most likely to succeed Onyekachi the Masego would be that man.  A black heart beats in this vilest of chests.  No deed is too heinous, no act to low, no price to high if he can achieve the power he needs to be number one.  Problem is Onyekachi is currently in that position, Masego plans to slip a dagger in the magicians heart once dread Obba'hah'ma is successfully summoned and take Onyekachi place as number one black magician.

Objective: Destroy magical mask.

1 comment: